As I sit in my warm house, my family and I are a long way away from those affected from the violence in Christchurch, New Zealand. Still we sit in shock, in grief, wondering how this could have happened in our beautiful country. As a family, we have been talking about the suffering of those touched by the violent acts of hatred we wonder what we can do to help?
What Would Love Do?
The one question that springs to my mind is what would love do?
I think that this powerful question is a key one. What can we do?
We can choose to right now and going forwards to be more compassioning towards ourselves and others. This hating of others is absolutely the opposite, most unconstructive direction we can choose. The people filled with hatred have closed off their own hearts. Rather than focusing our attention and energy on those who have wronged others, how about instead refocusing our attention on being the most loving version of ourselves that we can be?
So, open your heart, share your emotions, cry, scream, feeling everything that you feel right now, sitting with it, allowing your tears, your emotions and all your pain to surface, and then allowing your love to shine through. Give yourself the gift of keeping your heart open, this is in itself an act of love.
We need to look after ourselves, this includes our mental and heart health before we can help others.
Maybe then give a loved one a heartfelt call, give someone a hug, and help someone in need, whether they are affected by the violence in Christchurch or not. Let's come together in loving intention.
Let's make a joint intention - "My intention is that I am going to be more loving to myself and others today".
Let me know in the comments below your feelings on that statement, you are of course vey welcome to make up your own loving statement and share that as well.
If you need support and want to talk you are welcome to call me.
Sending you love
For many of you, I know that the days leading up to next week will be madly stressful and busy with Christmas shopping, juggling work and children as well all the usual festive preparations. If you are struggling, remember to take some time out for yourself.
Options may include:
To book coaching:
Call - 04 499 5732 or 02102625148
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If you or a loved one, are:
Personal Growth is not just for you - in order to help you grow, I continue to further my education and I have just gained my HeartMath Coaching Certification which is very exciting.
I am part of the integrated sports clinic of Capital Sports Medicine. They are one of Wellington's oldest and most respected clinics and offer a diverse range of services; Physios, Sports Massage, Sports Nutritionist, Sports Doctor, Podiatry, Hearing and now Coaching - http://capitalsportsmed.co.nz/home.aspx
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Capital Sports Medicine
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If you are interested in beginning your meditation journey, I now offer downloadable guided meditations which are available for purchase from my website shop.
1. NLP Study & Exam Mediation
2. Heart Focused Meditation
Click on the link here to purchase https://bit.ly/2LdSuB9
I also offer Gift Vouchers for those of you who may be interested in giving someone you love or care about some time with me as part of their personal development journey or in the run-up to Christmas for yourself.
To buy please call the clinic or myself or send me an email to organise.
Enjoy the sun and be sun-wise. Personally, I am not a great believer in sun-screen, I think that 20-30 minutes in the sun every day is more than enough, after that, I think that it's wise to cover up and stay in the shade, where you can still enjoy the heat and look after your body. You will of course know what's best for you, and I wish you a relaxing and happy Christmas and New Years.
Happy Holidays and Safe Travels!
I was very fortunate to attend the first Auckland Progressive Workshop with the world famous and very charismatic Dr Joe Dispenza.
The 2 1/2 day event based in Takapuna, on Auckland's North Shore was incredible. Listening to Joe explain the neuroscience, the extensive research that he and his team of scientists have been undertaking and hearing the large number of accounts the previous students who have trained with Joe have experienced while doing his meditations was mind-blowing.
In order to attend this Progressive workshop you have to do the Stage 1 online course called the Intensive Workshop, and then either attend or complete online the Progressive Workshop, before being able to take part in a profoundly life changing 1 week advanced workshop somewhere in the world. His Auckland Progressive workshop sold out quickly, as did the Advanced workshop on the Gold Coast which he flew to directly after this event.
I am very keen to attend an Advanced Workshop, and I can highly recommend his work. It is engaging, mind opening and life changing. I am very, very grateful.
There is so much magic and profound healing happening through consistent and powerful meditation.
If you aren't already meditating regularly, I recommend that you start today. Put your heart and soul into each practice. If you want your life to change for the better, decide right now to make a new habit, one that includes living in the 'NOW' more than in the past or future, with love and gratitude.
Turn your attention inwards through meditation, and on the journey you may just come out a new, less stressed, happier and healthy you.
Watch this space as I continue on my journey with Dr Joe's meditations.
For more information about Joe's work please head over to https://drjoedispenza.com/
It's September and the world is talking about Mental Health Awareness - bringing this once taboo subject into the light.
In New Zealand, we have some of the highest self harm and suicide rates in the world. Most recently our beloved ex-TVNZ presenter, Greg Boyed, chose to end his life, just one of the 600 New Zealanders who decided to end their lives in the last 12 months.
It's a sobering thought that our annual suicide rate is twice our annual road death toll. You could well ask "Where are the suicide prevention sign posts, the check points, and the safety belts to make our mental health road trips safer?"
If suicide, attempted or merely contemplated, is the ultimate declaration of unhappiness, then surely it follows that it may have started with a much smaller level of mental dis-ease and discomfort.
Each and every one of us is privately engaged in an ever changing conversation with our inner voice(s), feelings, desires, and thoughts. In fact, formal studies suggest that we have 60,000 - 70,000 thoughts per day, and over 90% of these are similar to the thoughts we had the day before!
We each are constantly, both consciously and unconsciously, comparing our internal mental model to what we perceive to be the real world. When we each detect a discrepancy between what we want and what we have or expect to have, we make the mental choice to accept, deny, or do something about it - and we are each happy or unhappy as a consequence. Unchecked, thousands of discordant thoughts can lead to repeated, self-reinforcing and ultimately destructive feelings.
Fortunately, backed by numerous repeatable scientific studies, proven techniques and tools exist to establish and maintain a healthy, resilient mental state, in the face of the challenges, and the highs and lows that life brings. These approaches can be tailored by each of us, on the basis of what we experience and learn about ourselves, and allow us each to intervene if necessary to adjust the path of self-reinforcing behaviours.
When we each learn to acknowledge and our negative emotions and understand our beliefs around them, we can use proven techniques to build positive feelings and make more coherent and positive choices. We don't need to sacrifice honesty, vulnerability, or privacy to do so.
So, I would like to ask you - Are you or your co-workers experiencing:
My expertise is in supporting people like you, on an individual or group basis, to achieve more and feel better doing so, in and outside of work.
I do so with proven tools and techniques, which you utilise to get to the next level in terms of self-confidence, happiness, and achievement, on a supportive, confidential basis.
Get in touch today for more information!
firstname.lastname@example.org call 044995732 or 02102625148
Arguments reveal what we are holding in our hearts. Almost always, arguments grow out of an unmet emotional need.
"Little things like taking the old newspapers out to the garage for recycling is not a big deal to him, but it is to me because I hate a mess. It's kind of a visual thing." What is she saying? One of her emotional needs is to have the house tidy. Mess is emotionally upsetting to her.
The wise person will look for the emotional need behind the argument. Bringing awareness to the situation by asking "Why is my spouse so upset over what seems unimportant to me?" or "Why is my coworker always trying to pick a fight?" The answer to those questions will help you understand the other person. Meeting emotional needs is one way to create a positive climate for communication.
If you would like to understand how to make your relationships more loving and less argumentative, get in touch.
HeartMath is a not for profit site that researches the link that the heart has to the body and mind. I highly recommend that you have a look at it, if you have an interest in understanding our heart, it is so much more than most of us are currently aware of.
HeartMath Institute has and continues to research and develop reliable, scientifically based tools to help people bridge the connection between their hearts and minds, and deepen their connection with the hearts of others.
A path to personal, social and global coherence. The video is an overview of the amazing and vital role of the heart in our lives, and how our personal energetics shapes our social relationships and ultimately affects global consciousness.
I personally spend a number of hours on the Heartmath.org site and am training to gain HeartMath Coaching Certification which will nicely compliment the mBIT Coaching, and NLP Practitioner certifications I hold.
Let me know what you think of the video in the comments below
What are your morning rituals? Are they the same every day? Do you start your day off in a state of stress or in a state of inner happiness and with an intention of gratitude and the decision that you are going to have an amazing day, each and every day?
It is incredible for me to think how many people, stumble out of bed, do the same thing every day, unaware that their inner dialogue has a profound impact on how they feel and how they go about their day.
So let me ask you, are you aware of your thoughts when you get up in the morning? Did you know that scientists have now discovered that we have between 60-70,000 thoughts a day, most of which we aren't even aware of at a conscious level, although they all have some impact on how we behave and interact with those around us.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THIS?
Bringing awareness to our thoughts and attitudes as we go about the day, from the moment we get out of bed, will help us shine a light on why our lives may be going in an unwanted direction.
Some people find getting out of bed a challenge, and they don't feel up to being loving or kind until that they drink that first cup of coffee or tea, probably feeling stressed about going to a job that they don't really enjoy, working with people that they don't really like or not making enough money to make living easy. Does that sound like you?
Or maybe you are in a relationship where you are feeling taken for granted, you aren't feeling appreciated, you may feel invisible, maybe your spouse makes work more important, or maybe you are worried that your loved one isn't being faithful.
Or maybe, you or your loved ones spend a large chunk of time on your electronic devices, possibly even in the same room, and so you aren't deeply connecting...
Is it true?
As mentioned earlier in this blog, bringing conscious awareness to our thoughts and feelings means we can identify triggers or behaviours that we may have not noticed previously.
We can then ask a question like "Is this really true" to see if the negative story we are telling ourself is actually true.
More than likely the answer is NO. At least having this awareness, we have a choice. We can choose to continue to feel and behave the way we have done up until now, or we can choose a more positive, happier thought or belief.
Which would make you feel better?
How about today you tell yourself that it's going to be a good day.. Take a few moments and say it to yourself, say it with feeling, bring your awareness down to your heart and say it again, maybe even out loud. Say it LOUD, have a laugh. you may just surprise yourself.
Keep your eye on my page for more snippets of wisdom, I will start posting more regularly going forward.
If you feel that getting coaching may help you find a more helpful direction, get in touch with me.
Nicole Wijngaarden - A student of life's magic
I hope that you have a wonderful day surrounded by family and friends. If you are alone this Christmas, I hope that you enjoy your day and spoil yourself with something special that makes you feel good.
I look forward to sharing further updates in 2018 to help you become the best version of you that you can be.
I have just completed 4 weeks of free coaching sessions from my local cafe in Khandallah, for people from all over Wellington. It was a huge success and some powerful transformations happened for the people who came and had coaching with me.
What people took away from the coaching included -
If you are ready for transformation or new direction, get in touch.
Nicole Wijngaarden, Life & Relationship Coach
Starting on July 4th, 2017, I began a journey to reshape my body. Tired of looking and feeling larger than I was happy with, I decided to take massive ACTION. Now, I am running, swimming, going to the gym and generally walking 10,000 steps most days, I am taking rest days and listening to my body. I am also eating healthier, although I am still keen on some chocolate and my jalapeno corn chips which I am unwilling to give up.
As of yesterday, I have reduced my body size by 5kg which I am thrilled about. The perseverance I have is because I remember what I want to look like. (A photo from my 20s). I am also choosing my mental state which is to really enjoying my runs, although I am a novice and quite slow I am really happy that I am running. When I restarted my C25K app on my phone, I almost had to start from the beginning, and now I am on Week 13 it feels incredible. I feel like my sexier, younger self is coming out to play and I even wore a shortish dress this afternoon. Whoop Whoop!
All in all, this challenge is helping me feel happier and more confident. Come and join me on the journey. I am posting my daily updates to my instagram account "mygoalsnz" If you choose to join me, please let me know, that way we can support each other.
Nicole Wijngaarden, Wellington, New Zealand