As I sit in my warm house, my family and I are a long way away from those affected from the violence in Christchurch, New Zealand. Still we sit in shock, in grief, wondering how this could have happened in our beautiful country. As a family, we have been talking about the suffering of those touched by the violent acts of hatred we wonder what we can do to help?
What Would Love Do?
The one question that springs to my mind is what would love do?
I think that this powerful question is a key one. What can we do?
We can choose to right now and going forwards to be more compassioning towards ourselves and others. This hating of others is absolutely the opposite, most unconstructive direction we can choose. The people filled with hatred have closed off their own hearts. Rather than focusing our attention and energy on those who have wronged others, how about instead refocusing our attention on being the most loving version of ourselves that we can be?
So, open your heart, share your emotions, cry, scream, feeling everything that you feel right now, sitting with it, allowing your tears, your emotions and all your pain to surface, and then allowing your love to shine through. Give yourself the gift of keeping your heart open, this is in itself an act of love.
We need to look after ourselves, this includes our mental and heart health before we can help others.
Maybe then give a loved one a heartfelt call, give someone a hug, and help someone in need, whether they are affected by the violence in Christchurch or not. Let's come together in loving intention.
Let's make a joint intention - "My intention is that I am going to be more loving to myself and others today".
Let me know in the comments below your feelings on that statement, you are of course vey welcome to make up your own loving statement and share that as well.
If you need support and want to talk you are welcome to call me.
Sending you love
It's September and the world is talking about Mental Health Awareness - bringing this once taboo subject into the light.
In New Zealand, we have some of the highest self harm and suicide rates in the world. Most recently our beloved ex-TVNZ presenter, Greg Boyed, chose to end his life, just one of the 600 New Zealanders who decided to end their lives in the last 12 months.
It's a sobering thought that our annual suicide rate is twice our annual road death toll. You could well ask "Where are the suicide prevention sign posts, the check points, and the safety belts to make our mental health road trips safer?"
If suicide, attempted or merely contemplated, is the ultimate declaration of unhappiness, then surely it follows that it may have started with a much smaller level of mental dis-ease and discomfort.
Each and every one of us is privately engaged in an ever changing conversation with our inner voice(s), feelings, desires, and thoughts. In fact, formal studies suggest that we have 60,000 - 70,000 thoughts per day, and over 90% of these are similar to the thoughts we had the day before!
We each are constantly, both consciously and unconsciously, comparing our internal mental model to what we perceive to be the real world. When we each detect a discrepancy between what we want and what we have or expect to have, we make the mental choice to accept, deny, or do something about it - and we are each happy or unhappy as a consequence. Unchecked, thousands of discordant thoughts can lead to repeated, self-reinforcing and ultimately destructive feelings.
Fortunately, backed by numerous repeatable scientific studies, proven techniques and tools exist to establish and maintain a healthy, resilient mental state, in the face of the challenges, and the highs and lows that life brings. These approaches can be tailored by each of us, on the basis of what we experience and learn about ourselves, and allow us each to intervene if necessary to adjust the path of self-reinforcing behaviours.
When we each learn to acknowledge and our negative emotions and understand our beliefs around them, we can use proven techniques to build positive feelings and make more coherent and positive choices. We don't need to sacrifice honesty, vulnerability, or privacy to do so.
So, I would like to ask you - Are you or your co-workers experiencing:
My expertise is in supporting people like you, on an individual or group basis, to achieve more and feel better doing so, in and outside of work.
I do so with proven tools and techniques, which you utilise to get to the next level in terms of self-confidence, happiness, and achievement, on a supportive, confidential basis.
Get in touch today for more information!
firstname.lastname@example.org call 044995732 or 02102625148
Nicole Wijngaarden, Wellington, New Zealand