Arguments reveal what we are holding in our hearts. Almost always, arguments grow out of an unmet emotional need.
"Little things like taking the old newspapers out to the garage for recycling is not a big deal to him, but it is to me because I hate a mess. It's kind of a visual thing." What is she saying? One of her emotional needs is to have the house tidy. Mess is emotionally upsetting to her.
The wise person will look for the emotional need behind the argument. Bringing awareness to the situation by asking "Why is my spouse so upset over what seems unimportant to me?" or "Why is my coworker always trying to pick a fight?" The answer to those questions will help you understand the other person. Meeting emotional needs is one way to create a positive climate for communication.
If you would like to understand how to make your relationships more loving and less argumentative, get in touch.
There are times when it's easy to give up on our goals or dreams, and believe you me, it happens to everyone and I mean everyone and that includes me. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Everyone has minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months of letting their negative chatter have too much control over their day to day actions. Putting off, or delaying taking steps towards their dreams.
Sometimes the best thought to follow such chatter is to ask yourself a question such as this - Will I regret NOT following through on my dream / goal if I gave up now or if I don't start?
That particular question has helped me answer "Hell Yes" when things were a bit tough going.
Imagine spending the rest of your life reflecting on the WHAT IF scenario?
I know that for me that is a no brainer. To combat this you could choose to say something along the lines of:
I am so happy and grateful now that:
Feel free to make up your own and see what works for you.
Next time you feel down, give it a go!
The more grateful you become, the more you see the wonder in life and the more wonderful things happen. I believe that to be true from the bottom of my soul.
Check out some of my downloads for helpful tips and please feel free comment below.
Nicole Wijngaarden, Relationship | Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach Wellington, New Zealand