Coronavirus “Fear or Calm?”
As we read the news around the Coronavirus COVID-19, talk to our colleagues, family and friends some of us are feeling so overwhelmed, so gripped by fear that we are not thinking clearly.
Please know that we have the ability to react to this situation in several ways. We can follow the herd and continue to stock up like a famine/plague is descending upon us, stocking up with toilet paper and other necessities in a state of total fear or we can take a deep breath and calm down.
We have a choice with how we deal with this pandemic in a more helpful way.
Begin by absolutely acknowledging any fear and/or negative emotions you are experiencing fully. By bringing awareness to how we feel, we can choose our next steps with more rational clarity.
Do we really want to stay in fight/flight or in elevated stress hormones (high cortisol and high beta brainwaves), as if we are being chased by a lion and are running away from an attacker for hours, days, weeks or months? Hopefully not because it drains our immune system and stops us making balanced choices. When we are in a prolonged state of high stress, we shut down the Neocortex part of our brain which helps us to make rational decisions and instead we use the Reptilian part which helps us focus on immediate survival like animals and not like normal human beings, we are able to make rational conscious choices if we re-focus our attention.
What can we do about this?
We can decide that we will stop looking at the news feeling fearful and instead with an attitude of managed concern which is a mental and emotional state that can leave us informed but not infected and debilitated by the virus.
Returning our attention to the good in our lives, focusing on being or staying healthy, being happy, being aware of our thoughts and returning to more helpful and positive thoughts when we find ourselves returning to fear-based thinking.
The problem with focusing a large part of our attention on the virus is that fighting it, talking about it, feeling it, thinking about it, increases the likelihood that you will get it because when you focus on the unwanted aspect of something in an effort of pushing it away from you, it comes closer to you because what you give your energy to, you bring to you. It is irrelevant whether you want it or not.
If we deeply believe that we are healthy, that we will continue to stay healthy and laugh off the fear, seeing it as unnecessary and unhelpful, we will more than likely stay healthy. Our immune system is not as strong and does not continue to regenerate health and repair when we are in a heightened state of fear. It shuts down to focus the body's energy on survival.
By realising that and consciously changing our state we can come back into alignment. Using the following SUGGESTIONS will help. We want to get back into low beta brainwaves so that all parts of our brain are working coherently (Neocortex, limbic and reptilian).
My suggestion is to look after yourself and your loved ones by -
Staying hydrated by drinking plenty of water
Eating citrus fruits or take high-quality Vitamin C supplements daily
Continuing to eat healthily
Get outside into the sunshine for 30-minutes each day
Going for a nice walk, bike ride, yoga or some form of exercise as this will increase oxytocin levels and this makes us feel happier
Where possible grounding yourself by going barefoot on the moist grass, or at your local beach every day for a few minutes
Listen to happy and uplifting music
Being grateful for your health and know that we will get through this blip
Taking calm deep breaths for 5-minutes at a time, in and out through your nose multiple times a day.
Imagine counting in as you breath in through your nose for 4 counts, holding for 2 counts, breathing out for 6+ counts. As you breathe in, imagine that you are breathing in through your heart, saying to yourself "I am breathing in health” and on the exhale say in your mind “I am breathing out fear/stress/anger/frustration” or whatever you need to let go off.
This will help to get back into heart and brain coherence if performed several times a day
Meditate daily - bringing your focus inwards. Having a mantra of "Health" in your meditations will help. Know and feel that you are healthy and that you are immune to this virus.
Staying in a deep state of gratitude, happiness and calm.
Repeat the following affirmation many times a day if you would like to - I am strong and I will continue to stay healthy, I am calm and filled with compassion!
Working on being in a coherent heart and mind state as much as possible. Managed concern is ok and continue focusing staying healthy.
Big Hug, Nicole
If you would like to learn more or to book in a coaching session get in touch - email@example.com
Holding Love in Our Hearts
As I sit in my warm house, my family and I are a long way away from those affected from the violence in Christchurch, New Zealand. Still we sit in shock, in grief, wondering how this could have happened in our beautiful country. As a family, we have been talking about the suffering of those touched by the violent acts of hatred we wonder what we can do to help?
What Would Love Do?
The one question that springs to my mind is what would love do?
I think that this powerful question is a key one. What can we do?
We can choose to right now and going forwards to be more compassioning towards ourselves and others. This hating of others is absolutely the opposite, most unconstructive direction we can choose. The people filled with hatred have closed off their own hearts. Rather than focusing our attention and energy on those who have wronged others, how about instead refocusing our attention on being the most loving version of ourselves that we can be?
So, open your heart, share your emotions, cry, scream, feeling everything that you feel right now, sitting with it, allowing your tears, your emotions and all your pain to surface, and then allowing your love to shine through. Give yourself the gift of keeping your heart open, this is in itself an act of love.
We need to look after ourselves, this includes our mental and heart health before we can help others.
Maybe then give a loved one a heartfelt call, give someone a hug, and help someone in need, whether they are affected by the violence in Christchurch or not. Let's come together in loving intention.
Let's make a joint intention - "My intention is that I am going to be more loving to myself and others today".
Let me know in the comments below your feelings on that statement, you are of course vey welcome to make up your own loving statement and share that as well.
If you need support and want to talk you are welcome to call me.
Sending you love
For many of you, I know that the days leading up to next week will be madly stressful and busy with Christmas shopping, juggling work and children as well all the usual festive preparations. If you are struggling, remember to take some time out for yourself.
Options may include:
To book coaching:
Call - 04 499 5732 or 02102625148
Email - firstname.lastname@example.org
If you or a loved one, are:
Personal Growth is not just for you - in order to help you grow, I continue to further my education and I have just gained my HeartMath Coaching Certification which is very exciting.
I am part of the integrated sports clinic of Capital Sports Medicine. They are one of Wellington's oldest and most respected clinics and offer a diverse range of services; Physios, Sports Massage, Sports Nutritionist, Sports Doctor, Podiatry, Hearing and now Coaching - http://capitalsportsmed.co.nz/home.aspx
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Capital Sports Medicine
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If you are interested in beginning your meditation journey, I now offer downloadable guided meditations which are available for purchase from my website shop.
1. NLP Study & Exam Mediation
2. Heart Focused Meditation
Click on the link here to purchase https://bit.ly/2LdSuB9
I also offer Gift Vouchers for those of you who may be interested in giving someone you love or care about some time with me as part of their personal development journey or in the run-up to Christmas for yourself.
To buy please call the clinic or myself or send me an email to organise.
Enjoy the sun and be sun-wise. Personally, I am not a great believer in sun-screen, I think that 20-30 minutes in the sun every day is more than enough, after that, I think that it's wise to cover up and stay in the shade, where you can still enjoy the heat and look after your body. You will of course know what's best for you, and I wish you a relaxing and happy Christmas and New Years.
Happy Holidays and Safe Travels!
Why Do We Argue?
Arguments reveal what we are holding in our hearts. Almost always, arguments grow out of an unmet emotional need.
"Little things like taking the old newspapers out to the garage for recycling is not a big deal to him, but it is to me because I hate a mess. It's kind of a visual thing." What is she saying? One of her emotional needs is to have the house tidy. Mess is emotionally upsetting to her.
The wise person will look for the emotional need behind the argument. Bringing awareness to the situation by asking "Why is my spouse so upset over what seems unimportant to me?" or "Why is my coworker always trying to pick a fight?" The answer to those questions will help you understand the other person. Meeting emotional needs is one way to create a positive climate for communication.
If you would like to understand how to make your relationships more loving and less argumentative, get in touch.
The Heart's Intuitive Intelligence
HeartMath is a not for profit site that researches the link that the heart has to the body and mind. I highly recommend that you have a look at it, if you have an interest in understanding our heart, it is so much more than most of us are currently aware of.
HeartMath Institute has and continues to research and develop reliable, scientifically based tools to help people bridge the connection between their hearts and minds, and deepen their connection with the hearts of others.
A path to personal, social and global coherence. The video is an overview of the amazing and vital role of the heart in our lives, and how our personal energetics shapes our social relationships and ultimately affects global consciousness.
I personally spend a number of hours on the Heartmath.org site and am training to gain HeartMath Coaching Certification which will nicely compliment the mBIT Coaching, and NLP Practitioner certifications I hold.
Let me know what you think of the video in the comments below
What are your morning rituals? Are they the same every day? Do you start your day off in a state of stress or in a state of inner happiness and with an intention of gratitude and the decision that you are going to have an amazing day, each and every day?
It is incredible for me to think how many people, stumble out of bed, do the same thing every day, unaware that their inner dialogue has a profound impact on how they feel and how they go about their day.
So let me ask you, are you aware of your thoughts when you get up in the morning? Did you know that scientists have now discovered that we have between 60-70,000 thoughts a day, most of which we aren't even aware of at a conscious level, although they all have some impact on how we behave and interact with those around us.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT THIS?
Bringing awareness to our thoughts and attitudes as we go about the day, from the moment we get out of bed, will help us shine a light on why our lives may be going in an unwanted direction.
Some people find getting out of bed a challenge, and they don't feel up to being loving or kind until that they drink that first cup of coffee or tea, probably feeling stressed about going to a job that they don't really enjoy, working with people that they don't really like or not making enough money to make living easy. Does that sound like you?
Or maybe you are in a relationship where you are feeling taken for granted, you aren't feeling appreciated, you may feel invisible, maybe your spouse makes work more important, or maybe you are worried that your loved one isn't being faithful.
Or maybe, you or your loved ones spend a large chunk of time on your electronic devices, possibly even in the same room, and so you aren't deeply connecting...
Is it true?
As mentioned earlier in this blog, bringing conscious awareness to our thoughts and feelings means we can identify triggers or behaviours that we may have not noticed previously.
We can then ask a question like "Is this really true" to see if the negative story we are telling ourself is actually true.
More than likely the answer is NO. At least having this awareness, we have a choice. We can choose to continue to feel and behave the way we have done up until now, or we can choose a more positive, happier thought or belief.
Which would make you feel better?
How about today you tell yourself that it's going to be a good day.. Take a few moments and say it to yourself, say it with feeling, bring your awareness down to your heart and say it again, maybe even out loud. Say it LOUD, have a laugh. you may just surprise yourself.
Keep your eye on my page for more snippets of wisdom, I will start posting more regularly going forward.
If you feel that getting coaching may help you find a more helpful direction, get in touch with me.
Nicole Wijngaarden - A student of life's magic
Nicole Wijngaarden, Relationship | Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach Wellington, New Zealand